Point of Freedom (Nordic Lords MC #3) Read online

  I brushed away happy tears with one hand, squeezed her hand tighter with my other. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks, sweetie.” Faith wrapped her arms around me, hugging me as tightly as I embraced her. She was engaged to a man she had loved her entire life. I couldn’t be happier. “Your time will come again.”

  That same soft spear of pain delved deep inside my chest at the thought. I pulled back, smiling and brushing away tears, but they were no longer just happy ones. But who was I to ruin the party the club was having in celebration of Faith and Ryker getting engaged?

  Not only that, but for now, the club was safe. The Black Death had been vanquished from town and nothing could hurt them.

  “Come on.” Faith tugged my hand, pulling me toward the bar. “You’re not allowed to be sad at my party.”

  “I’m not sad.” The slight catch in my throat was a dead giveaway of my lie. Faith flashed me a knowing glance and slid a shot glass in front of me.

  “Thanks, Tripp.” Faith nodded toward the guy behind the bar. He was older than us, but not by much, based on the fine wrinkles around his lips, eyes, and across his forehead.

  He paused to nod his full, slightly peppered hair in my direction.

  Inconsequential.

  That was how I felt whenever I stepped into the club. An outsider, regardless that I’d borne a girl of one of their own. The stigma of what I’d done—or what they believed I’d done—years ago settled like a weight in my gut, leaving me ten pounds heavier every time I was around the Nordic Lords.

  At one time it’d been different.

  Everything had been different. I had never had their respect, but I’d had their acceptance. Those days were long gone now, though, and it wasn’t the first time I’d been around this group of crazy, rowdy, oftentimes law-breaking men and wondered what in the hell I was doing back in Jasper Bay.

  “Hey.” Faith nudged my side with her elbow and I blinked out of my thoughts. “It’s okay to have a hard time being back here, you know.”

  I eyed her warily, waiting to see if she’d bring up Scratch or the accident—or Sophie, for that matter. When I saw understanding in her softened eyes and slightly downturned smile, I leaned in and rested my head against her shoulder.

  Faith knew how I felt maybe more than anyone: she’d grown up in this club, but after her dad turned on the men, her mom sold her to a rival club in order to pay for her own drug supply. Faith spent years living a hell I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. She had only been back in the club for the last few months, and yet seemed so completely in love with Ryker, not only her one-time ex-fiancé, but they’d been reunited and tonight was about celebrating them becoming engaged again.

  If anyone knew how it felt to walk through the doors to the Nordic Lords’ Clubhouse with a weight on their shoulders, it was Faith.

  I sipped my beer slowly, tipping the bottom of the bottle back and forth on the bar top, and scanned the small gathering room.

  Cue balls slamming into their intended targets echoed above the old-school rock music pouring from the speakers hanging in the corners of the room.

  Men cheered. They slung their beer. They kissed their women—or whoever was available—but what always surprised me the most being around these men was the freedom, the easy living despite their hardened lives and sometimes lack of morals.

  Their women were loud and crass. The men loved it.

  No one seemed as if they gave a shit about anything else in their lives except for what was in this room. My parents had never understood how their lifestyle had appealed to me when I was young. They never understood how someone who had been raised in my lifestyle would risk throwing it away for someone like Scratch.

  We had been young teenagers when we started dating, and he had died three years ago. But we had a kind of love that, even as much as my parents tried to fight me about, I knew would last forever. Being in this room of loud voices and huge amounts of love reminded me of the reason I had loved it here so much when I was young. It reminded me why I had loved being with Scratch, Olivia, and Faith.

  Here, I was free. I was free to screw up without condemnation. I was free to explore and do whatever I wanted, and most of all, I was free to be me without the stress of wondering who would tell my parents.

  A slow smile tugged at the edges of my lips.

  “Come on,” I finally said. I slammed down my beer, threw back a shot of vodka, and grabbed Faith’s hand. “Let’s party.”

  She raised her glass, threw her long black hair over her shoulder, and laughed. “You’re on.”

  I dragged her over to Olivia where she immediately threw her arms around me and Faith. In the background, Daemon and Ryker froze their gazes to their women. Their eyes raked down Olivia’s and Faith’s bodies. The heat from their men almost left me feeling as if I was watching a ménage I hadn’t been invited to. Heat stained my cheeks.

  “Drink up!” Olivia declared.

  Another drink was placed into my palm from out of nowhere, and I raised my glass in celebration.

  “Congratulations to Faith and Ryker!” I shouted. Men joined in with the whoops and hollers of the answering shouts, and I watched as Ryker wrapped his tanned arm around Faith’s shoulder, pulled her close, and kissed her obscenely.

  And I got lost. I got lost in the sounds, in the excitement, in the free liquor, and in the freedom of being able to live in the moment for the first time in months—possibly years.

  My head and my stomach swam with warmth from the booze.

  My smile grew larger with each passing shot someone handed to me.

  I danced on tables with Olivia and sang off-key with my arms wrapped around Faith.

  Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught Jaden.

  His scowl permanently fixed, like it always was in my presence, directly on me.

  I swayed on the coffee table where Faith and I stood, and grabbed onto her forearms.

  “You okay?” she asked, laughter ringing loud and clear in her slightly drunken voice. Faith rarely drank, and never got drunk, but apparently I wasn’t the only one letting go tonight.

  I forced my eyes off Jaden, pulling them as if I had to drag them through sludge or quicksand. He sucked me in with his darkened gaze and pulled me in further by looking so much like his brother.

  My breath caught in my throat and I stepped off the table, crashing into a half-naked couple sprawled on the loveseat.

  “Sorry, Jimmy,” I mumbled, reaching out to steady myself.

  “Johnny.”

  “Whatever.” They were twins, and no one in the club could tell them apart. I didn’t feel bad about it as the full force of my drunkenness hit me.

  My stomach flipped from overindulging, and feeling Jaden’s eyes still on me, I needed air. I needed space and I needed to breathe.

  Rushing out the door of the clubhouse on unsteady feet, I pushed open the front door and gasped for breath.

  Fall was settling in and the chilled burst of breeze blew through my thin shirt and shorts. My hands dropped to my knees and I breathed in the cool, crisp air.

  “You okay?”

  I lifted my head toward the masculine voice and slowly stood up. A man I’d met only a few times stood in front of me, head cocked to the side with his brightly inked arms crossed over his chest.

  “I’m good, Finn.”

  “Where’s Sophie?”

  I took in Finn’s scowl, his heavy accent, and the tic in his jaw. Exhaustion and excess beer poured through my veins.

  “At my parents’,” I said, brushing a few stray blond hair strands out of my face. “Why?”

  His nose twitched. “Wondering why you’re here and not with her.” He shrugged, as if he hadn’t been completely offensive.

  My ire increased instantly. “I’m not allowed to have a night out?” I asked and leaned in. Screw him. Screw all of the men and people in general who judged me. I was a damn good mom and Sophie didn’t want for anything. I busted my ass to see that all
her needs were met before I attended to mine.

  And damn it, I was twenty-four with an almost three-year-old. It was okay for me to have a night out.

  The door behind me opened and I felt the brush of heat, heard the music pour outside, and inhaled a whiff of the familiar cologne that smelled oh so damn good.

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “Shit.”

  “What’s going on?” Jaden asked, looking eerily similar to Finn in scowl and annoyance.

  “Nothing.” I stood up, rolled my shoulders back, and went for my phone, because no way in hell was I okay to drive anywhere.

  Finn turned his eyes to Jaden. “Just seeing if she was okay. What are you doing out here?”

  If I wasn’t mistaken, Finn’s lip twitched slightly. I preferred when he was being silent and sullen. Talking wasn’t a trait I liked in him—not when he was judging me.

  Jaden glanced back and forth between us and I took a step away from him. He’d unleash his assholery upon me quicker than Finn could, for certain. A muscle in his neck popped and pulsed.

  “Heading home.”

  “Funny,” Finn said, a grin spreading wide. “Jules was just saying she needed a ride.”

  What? “I didn’t—”

  “Thought I’d take her. We were just getting ready to head out.”

  My eyeballs almost exploded as Finn moved toward me and reached his hand out. “Ready to go?”

  “I—” I had no words. For the first time in my life, I was stunned speechless.

  “I got her.”

  My head snapped to Jaden so quick I felt the sting of whiplash.

  “Really? She’s closer to my place.” If possible, Finn’s smile grew wider. Oh hell, he was goading Jaden. Pointless pursuit, truly. There was nothing to goad Jaden over—especially when it came to me.

  “I’ve got a ride.”

  Both men turned and looked at me. Finn smiled, Jaden scowled.

  Typical.

  “Who?” Jaden asked, walking toward me.

  On instinct, I took a step back. Who? How in the hell should I know?

  Heat suffused my cheeks and I prayed like hell he couldn’t see it. I had always been a miserable liar.

  “Uh.” My eyes darted to the sides and all around as I tried to think of someone who could come get me. Someone other than my parents. When I didn’t immediately come up with an answer, Jaden stepped up.

  “Let’s go.” He spun a set of keys around his index finger, catching them in his grip.

  “I’m fine.”

  From behind me, I heard the door to the club open and close again. My head snapped around, searching for Finn, but he was gone. Bastard.

  I fought against the urge to run into the clubhouse just to kick him in the nuts. What in the hell was his problem?

  I didn’t have time to think about it because I had larger problems—mostly in the shape and size of a six-foot-and-then-some muscled, angry biker towering over me.

  “You got a man?” he asked, and stalked toward me, closing the expanse between us in three quick strides. I didn’t answer at first, mostly because I hadn’t been able to function clearly around Jaden ever since that damn bike ride with him almost a week ago. He was so much like Scratch, yet so different.

  “You know I don’t,” I muttered, heat returning to my cheeks. I turned to look away from him, too afraid of what he’d see in my eyes. Too afraid of what I’d feel if I looked at him anymore. Damn it.

  Coming back to Jasper Bay was about Sophie being with her uncle and me being free of dickhead Rob. Not feeling all swoony and stupid around Jaden.

  “I know,” he clipped. Our feet were so close together the tips of our shoes almost touched. “’Cuz if you had one, he wouldn’t let you be around men like us. And if he was a stupid man who let you do stupid shit like that, he’d certainly be around to take you home when you drank too much, so you’re not left wandering drunk around town.”

  I squeezed my eyes close, searched for a quip or a smartass answer behind my closed and darkened eyelids, and still I came up empty.

  Although the parking lot felt like it was beginning to spin when I opened my eyes.

  Crap. I was wasted.

  “Shit,” Jaden muttered, making a decision I couldn’t understand. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward a truck. As he opened the door, I took in his tapping, booted foot on the pavement. “Get in.”

  I looked at his boot, dragged my eyes slowly up to the high bench seat in the old truck I knew he’d had forever. It felt like a long way up as I swayed on my feet.

  “I think I need a ladder,” I admitted. My eyes closed and my head tipped back.

  “Shit.” Next thing I knew, two large and searing hot hands were wrapped around my waist and I was dropped into the bench seat. He pointed a finger at me when I dragged my unfocused eyes to him. “Don’t fuckin’ puke in my truck.”

  Well, I hadn’t considered that… but now that he mentioned it.

  The last thing I remembered was the rumbling and shaking of his engine as he pulled out of the clubhouse parking lot.

  Then everything went black.

  Jules’s soft snoring fell from her slightly parted lips as I pulled my truck into my apartment complex and slammed the shifter into park. I turned to her, glaring at her because I couldn’t help the whirlwind of shit I felt every time I looked at her.

  Her sleeping in my truck, making it reek of her sweet perfume that burned my nose on every inhale, left me on edge.

  “Shit,” I murmured, and scrubbed a hand down my face.

  Why had I brought her to my own damn house? I should have dropped her passed-out ass on the doorstep to the precious mayor’s house and been done with it.

  I had been halfway to her parents’ home when I thought of what would happen if her parents saw her in this state. Would it hurt my chances of seeing Sophie? Not that I should have given a shit. Or understood why I suddenly cared so much about getting to know the little girl. I’d ignored both of them for weeks.

  Now she was sitting in my truck, and I was the one taking care of her while she looked so damn innocent and fragile, curled into a ball, her bare feet propped up on the seat next to her, and her head resting against the doorframe.

  “Fuck it.” I climbed out of the cab of my truck and slammed my door. My hands balled into fists at my side as I walked around the back of the tailgate, the entire time keeping my eyes narrowed on the sleepy drunk. I flung open her door, almost wanting her to fall out and land flat on her ass.

  That’d teach her for getting too drunk to control herself. And for letting me put her in my truck.

  Her head dipped and bobbed from the sudden movement and I found myself unbuckling her and scooping her up before she could fall, all thoughts of seeing her with road rash down the sides of her cheeks forgotten.

  Jules settled in my arms as soon as I began carrying her up the stairs to the second-level, outside entrance. My place was shit—mostly because I barely spent time there. Also because no one else ever came to my place. Finally because I didn’t have anyone who gave a shit about nice crap in my life, ever.

  Walking into it with Jules cradled in my arms, her body singeing my chest with an uncomfortable heat, had me taking a quick glance around my bare walls, the stained carpet that’d been that way since before I moved in, and the chipped linoleum flooring and countertop.

  I dropped her on my bed as if she’d burned me, and scrubbed my arms to be free from her smell and her touch.

  She wasn’t even awake.

  A slight moan escaped her pink lips and my hands flew to my hips as I stared at her, hovering over her like a fucking creeper.

  The sound went straight from her lips to my gut and my lip twisted in disgust.

  Disgust because she was Jules: my brother’s killer. If not intentionally, certainly unintentionally. She might not have shoved his bike onto the patch of black ice that left his wheels spinning out of control, but if she wouldn’t have cheated on him, he wouldn’t have been at her
place arguing with her that night.

  “Fuck,” I groaned.

  The sound reverberated against my stained white walls and Jules opened her eyes.

  “Jaden?” Her voice was dry as she croaked.

  “What?” I growled.

  She sat up, slowly pushing herself off the bed, and dropped her head into the palm of one of her hands. “Where am I?”

  I turned around, not wanting to see her looking so damn miserable in my bed while I had some strange, alien urge to actually fucking help her.

  What the hell?

  “My house.”

  “Why?”

  I glared at her over my shoulder. Her small hand brushed the blond hair out of her eyes as her head lobbed to the side and then back.

  “You want Sophie to see you looking this shitty?” I stalked out of the room and stomped across the worn gray carpet before she could say anything else.

  In the kitchen, I braced my fists over the edge of the counter and tried to slow my racing heart. My pulse thundered in my ears as if I was underwater, and my heart pounded against my chest.

  For a second, until I thought of Scratch, there had been a moment when I’d actually liked seeing Jules in my messed bed, lying across the tangled sheets in a pair of short shorts riding up high on her thighs, and the hint of her bra peeking out over the edge of her tank top.

  “Get your shit together, asshole.”

  I blinked, erasing the image, and reached for a bottle of pain pills. I filled a glass of water and took it back to my bedroom.

  When I hit the door, I heard the water running from the bathroom. My eyes darted between the closed door, the hint of light shining under the door, and the pain pills in my hand.

  My hand squeezed around them before I finally dropped everything on the cracked table next to my nightstand. Water splashed over the rim of the cup. I should have cleaned it up, but I didn’t.