Point of Return Read online

  “You’ll keep it.” It sounded so definite, as if the decision was already made. Maybe I had made it earlier—the moment I couldn’t give the okay to the nurse—and was simply unwilling to admit it. “But you won’t end up with Travis.”

  “You some sort of psychic now?” My lips curled as I asked the question. He was too close to already figuring out what I myself, was just beginning to consider.

  He set the glass down on my desk and shrugged, crossing his arms as if he was Buddha—wise and all knowing. “You don’t love him. As soon as he finds out, he’s going to want to marry you. You’ll refuse, and he’ll finally realize you never loved him.”

  The coldness in my heart trickled into my veins and the iciness spread all over my skin. I resisted the urge to shiver underneath his gaze. I cleared my throat. “What makes you say that?”

  “I’m going to give it to you straight, Olivia, since you don’t have anyone else in your life willing to do it.” Inside I was screaming at him to shut up. Somehow, I knew whatever came next was something I didn’t want to hear. “I don’t know what shit went down to make you run so many years ago, but this is a small town and people talk. I know that you, Daemon, and Faith all had parents killed around the same time, and I know the club was fractured for a long time. You ran, but you came back here for a reason.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and straightened my back. “I had nowhere else to go.”

  He ignored me. The protest sounded lame to my own ears. I came back to a small town to live in a crap hole above a tattoo shop. I could have moved to any small town and done the same thing if I wanted. I wasn’t ready to admit it though. Gunner kept talking, apparently taking my silence for agreement.

  “Travis is your distraction. The man so opposite of what you want to avoid, so you cling to him, hoping he can change you. But the truth is, you are who you are, and eventually, Travis will get that. He’s the guy who’s in love with the thought of you, the girl he grew up with, and you’re both trying to force a relationship that’s based on lies and hope, but it’s all misplaced.”

  “Wow,” I said, blowing out a slow breath. “I don’t think I like you anymore.”

  He shrugged as if he either didn’t care or didn’t believe me. “And I’m not paying you overtime to be here on a Saturday, so get the hell out and go home. Get some rest and things will seem better tomorrow.”

  He picked up the glasses and the alcohol, letting the door slam shut behind him, the sound echoed in my silent, tiny office.

  I stared at the door, long after Gunner left, and eventually, a hint of a smile tipped my lips. Everything he said was true. I had no idea he was so wise. He kept it so well hidden in his typical quiet nature that I had no idea he saw so much.

  Eventually, I did what I was told. I left the office, stunned that everyone else had already left for the night; and I made my way up to my apartment in the darkness of the night, thankful I didn’t have to see anyone.

  I couldn’t stop Gunner’s words from staying in my mind. They were cemented into my brain. It didn’t matter how hard I scrubbed my tiny studio apartment, or how much laundry I folded and then re-folded just to kill time and have my hands occupied with doing something mindless. Gunner’s words couldn’t be forgotten.

  He was wrong. I cared about Travis. I valued our friendship—one that we had for over a decade and when I walked back into Jasper Bay, he was among the few who welcomed me home.

  Yet, in my gut, Gunner was right. I knew it. The fact that I knew it—the fact that he could see it—changed everything. Because if Gunner, my boss and now apparently, my friend, could see the truth—it wasn’t going to be long before Travis and I admitted it to one another.

  I went to bed the night before with Gunner’s thoughts in my head, hating that he could see me so clearly, and fighting to erase a certain pair of dark green eyes and dirty blonde scruffy facial hair that infiltrated my thoughts every time I closed my eyes. I woke up with an ultrasound picture clutched in my hand and dried tears on my cheeks.

  Which was probably why I was cleaning and then re-cleaning every single inch of my crappy apartment. Anything to keep my mind off the future decisions I had to make.

  My mp3 player was blaring so loudly through the docking station on my practically non-existent counter that I almost missed the soft pounding on my front door.

  I stared at the door as though an alien might be on the other side. It was Sunday and the shop downstairs was closed. Travis had a key, but he hadn’t tried contacting me since he left the day before. No one else ever visited me.

  Eventually, I heard the soft tapping again, so I lowered the music before I answered the door. I should have taken the extra minute to realize whoever was at my door, had gotten in without a key to the downstairs door, down by the entryway next to the shop. But I wasn’t thinking of any of that when I opened the door.

  My mouth fell open and my eyes widened when I saw Faith standing in my doorway, holding two paper to-go cups from the local coffee shop, Best of Beans, while a large bobby pin dangled from her fingers. It was then that I realized, as a tinge of disappointment hit my chest, that my visitor was Faith—in all her exotic beauty—and not Daemon.

  Where in the hell did that come from?

  “Hey.” I didn’t open the door far enough for her to walk in. She looked stunning in a tight, black miniskirt and a light grey tank top that accentuated her breasts. Her make-up was done and her black hair fell straight down her back. I took in my own cut-off sweat shorts and stained tank top with my own dark brown hair thrown into a sock bun on the top of my head. I had no make-up on and I wasn’t sure I had brushed my teeth yet.

  I stood in front of her for the first time in my life, feeling less than: less beautiful than her, weaker than she was. The girl who had been raised as practically my sister, in everything we did, down to how we looked. My hair slightly lighter, my curves slightly more understated, and my eyes were a light brown compared to her blue eyes that were so light and bright they shined liked diamonds in the sun.

  At least that’s what Daemon’s older brother, Ryker, used to tell her when we were kids.

  “You’re upset,” she said, her voice slow and timid.

  I pressed my tongue against the top of my mouth and took a deep breath. I could smell the caramel and whip cream in the steam that came through the top of the cups, so it really wasn’t a choice on whether or not I was going to let her in. Luckily, for Faith, I loved coffee.

  “Not upset,” I finally admitted, and opened the door so she could come in. I took one of the delicious smelling coffee cups out of her hand as soon as she walked in. “Confused as to why you’re here, but thanks for this.” I raised the cup in my hands and took the first, incredible, throat-burning sip.

  She eyed me cautiously and looked around my small place. I was getting used to former-friends-now-strangers investigating my home, even if I couldn’t help but wonder what she was looking for.

  Was she looking for pictures of us in our matching pigtails? Those were long gone; shoved into a storage bin in my rarely used storage unit with the rest of the memories of my youth.

  “I wanted to see if you were okay,” she finally said, taking a seat at my kitchen table. The floor was crooked underneath and one leg always made the table rock back and forth whenever someone or something put pressure on it. I listened to the knocking sound and made a mental note to fix it, later.

  Hesitantly, I sat down and joined her. For the first time since I saw Faith yesterday, I actually saw a hint of caring in her eyes that hadn’t been there when she drove me to the clinic. “Why’d you call Daemon?”

  Her lips puckered before she rolled them back into her teeth. “I had to get back to work and one of the Nordic Lords would have learned where you were eventually. I figured it was better Daemon find out than someone who would tell your dad.”

  “What do you mean, one of them would find out?”

  She sighed and looked away. Her eyes darted to the smal
l window above my bed before she shook her head, as if debating what to tell me. I waited impatiently, tapping my fingers on the side of my cardboard cup.

  “They keep tabs on you, Prez’s orders.”

  My eyes widened but I blinked away my surprise. This shouldn’t have startled me. I should have known the minute I stepped back into town that I’d be on the asshole’s radar, but to know my dad had me watched… made my skin itch and my blood simmer. I schooled my features so she didn’t see how upset I had gotten.

  “How do you know this?”

  Faith laughed softly. It was a beautiful sound, just like her. “I work and practically live with Black Death, Olivia. You don’t think I hear things?”

  “Of course.” I messed with the plastic lid on my to-go cup just to give my hands something to do. Faith in my apartment felt comfortable and awkward at the same time. “So why are you here and so desperate to see me that you’d pick my lock?”

  She smiled coyly. “Nothing better to do.”

  I pressed my lips around the edge of my coffee cup and arched a brow. Like hell. Eventually, she sighed.

  “I wanted to see if you were okay; honest, Olivia. I felt bad that I had to call Daemon, and I wanted to make sure you were okay after yesterday, and then seeing him again.”

  I licked my lips and ran my thumb and index finger across my bottom lip, pulling them toward the center. “I’m fine.” Without warning, I felt tears burn my eyes, just thinking of the decision I had almost made yesterday.

  “I couldn’t do it,” I got out, right before my voice choked up and the first tear fell down my cheek. “I wanted to. I thought I did; I don’t know how I’m going to tell Travis, but once I was on the table and the nurse asked if I wanted an ultrasound first… I had to see it. I had to see the baby first, and once I heard the heartbeat, I couldn’t do it.”

  I was wrapped in the warmth of Faith’s arms, my head resting on her shoulder as I cried out the rest, along with the guilt of almost killing something that was in me. The baby was a part of me, and even though it was a surprise, I knew somewhere inside of me—in the part that hadn’t been ruined by the club and the memories of the deaths I had witnessed—would never willingly kill another living thing.

  I didn’t even kill spiders and bugs. I could never bring myself to end another life. The thought that I could have done it, was stupid.

  “I didn’t think for a single second you would go through with it.” Faith’s voice, softer than yesterday but still with a sharpness that said, she too, had seen too much death, cut through my tears and my self-loathing.

  “What?” I leaned back, drying my eyes and avoiding hers completely.

  “Olivia,” she crooned, reaching out and grabbing my hand. I let her, because it suddenly felt like she was the friend I always had. “You have always been too good; too kind-hearted to do something like that.”

  I blinked my eyes closed harshly, stopping the rest of my tears and I finally looked at her. I saw no judgment in her eyes, just compassion for me. Just like there always was.

  “So why did you call Daemon then? When you knew what he’d think?”

  She shrugged. An answer between us that was unspoken and unnecessary. Was there anyone else I would have wanted to be with me when I went through something like that?

  “I need to get going,” she said, suddenly standing up and smacking her hands on the kitchen table. “Would you want to do lunch sometime? Get caught up maybe? I mean, you’re back in town and all, and now that you’re not completely avoiding me…”

  I caught the vulnerability in her eyes, the wondering if I blamed her for everything that happened. I didn’t. I never did. It wasn’t her fault her dad tried to rat on the MC by going to the FBI. The men in the club had killed her dad, Doug, the same night my mom and I were attacked. The only thing that connected them was the timing. But it was never Faith’s fault her dad flipped on the club she’d been raised in.

  “Yes.” I nodded. “I can do it next weekend.”

  “I’ll make sure I clear my schedule then.”

  I watched the door, long after she had left, drinking my coffee, and suddenly wondering, how did everything change so quickly? How many more people would leave me staring at a door after they walked out, shocked by everything that had happened right before? It seemed it was becoming the story of my life.

  I couldn’t focus. I had no idea what our President, Bull Masters, was talking about. Something about the Black Death, and a shipment they had coming into our ports.

  I should have been ready for revenge and for bloodshed. That the fuckers could continue to think they could encroach on our territory should have made me ready for battle.

  Instead, I was obsessed with the dark-haired vixen. The same woman who had stolen my heart, and then crushed it five years ago; the same woman who came back to town and ran to Travis instead of her family.

  Me. I was her family. I was the one who was there for her when everything went to shit. One week after having her in my arms, even if it was innocent, and I couldn’t get the thought of her, the feel of her, or the smell of her out of my damn head.

  “Son, you hear what I’m sayin’ to you?” I snapped my head to Liv’s dad, Bull. His parents must have been psychic when they named him because he lived up to the name. He was big as one and just as angry, too. I sometimes couldn’t believe someone so big and nasty could have someone as sweet as Liv for a daughter.

  No. I didn’t hear what he said. I nodded. “You bet.”

  Bull’s dark black eyes scanned me for lies and then looked at the crew. Nine of us sat at the table. Jaden sat across from me, taking his family’s spot.

  Then Bull started talking again and I zoned out thinking about brown hair, honey colored eyes, hips that I wanted to grab with my hands. God, what I wouldn’t give to see her laugh and smile. I wanted to see something other than the hatred she fired at me with her silent glares.

  I didn’t realize the room had cleared until Bull pounded his gavel into the table, getting my attention.

  “Yeah?” I asked. I couldn’t let him know I was distracted; especially, not why I was distracted. He’d have Liv’s ass hauled in and stored in a room in the club, chained to the bed, safe and sound if he had his choice.

  I wanted her back too. I just wanted it to be her choice, not his or mine that brought her home.

  “Your head isn’t in this run. You’re not going.”

  My nose twitched. Going on runs was the only thing that was going to keep me sane. Liv was fucking knocked up and it wasn’t mine. “I got it.”

  “You don’t fuckin’ got it,” he sneered and glared at me. “We gotta stop this shipment from being delivered. And I want to find out who in the hell is trying to sneak this shit in. We’ve worked too damn hard in the last five years to get this town cleaned up from drugs, and someone is allowing Black Death to keep bringing it in.”

  I had my suspicions as to who it was, but I wasn’t willing to play my hand, yet.

  “I know this shit, Bull.”

  “Don’t fuckin’ talk to me like that, son. You’re in that VP seat because your old man died. You didn’t earn the right, and you haven’t put in the time yet. I don’t have time for your juvenile ass to be distracted when we have shit going down.”

  My teeth ground together and I bit my tongue. I fucking hated it when he threw my dad’s death in my face. Like I wasn’t reminded of it every day.

  “What do you want me to do then, Prez?” I snarled. I couldn’t help it. Anger and annoyance flashed in Bull’s eyes before he took a deep breath.

  “You’re on Liv duty tonight.”

  Fucking perfect. Because that was just what I needed—watching Travis enter her apartment and not leave ‘til fucking morning.

  “I want her back in my club, D.”

  “I know you do.”

  “You want it, too.”

  I said nothing because he already knew I did.

  He leaned forward resting his elbows on the tab
le and clasping his hands together. The gesture was relaxed, but underneath the calm, I felt a storm brewing. “So I suggest you do what needs to be done to get her back here. I’m tired of letting her think she can be in this town, and not be a part of this family. We need her back, and I want it done. Soon.”

  He was planning something, something that would put Liv as a target. I felt it. Clubs typically stayed away from women and children. It was an unspoken rule. Unfortunately, Liv was walking around as if she didn’t have a care in the world, completely oblivious to the fact that a turf war between Nordic Lords and Black Death was imminent.

  And in times of war, all rules went out the fucking window.

  Beyond the crisp air, that settled near the water of Jasper Bay even during the peak of summer, my bones felt chilled. Wearing only a short sleeve shirt and my cut, I should have been plenty warm, but there I was, huddled in a corner, my bike hidden a block away, and I stood in the dark, watching the lights on inside in Liv’s apartment.

  Something didn’t feel right as I stood watch; the slow burn of my cigarette provided the only sound I could hear.

  Jasper Bay was never anything special. At one point, I had wanted to leave too. Then my dad and Liv’s mom were killed and Liv was shot. After that, everything went to hell faster than a hooker in church did, and nothing was ever the same.

  I was the last Knight standing, and there was no way my family was losing its name and presence in the club, not when I could step in.

  I shook my head, clearing out the worthless thoughts, and checked the time on my burner phone. It was almost ten, almost time for the drop to take place. In an hour, I’d be burying myself in Missy, probably in plain sight of everyone else in the club because that’s how she liked it.

  Thinking of Missy took my thoughts off what Liv could be doing in her small apartment with Travis. Was she telling him about the baby? Were they celebrating or planning an elopement? Or a full wedding that would send the town into a hissy fit? Was the biker princess going to marry the clean-cut cop? My chest grew tight, my body tensed, and I knew even my breathing was short and ragged as my anger and frustration grew by the second. I almost lost it when her lights went out a few minutes later.