28 Dates Read online

“Hey. Was knocking on the door to your office thinking I’d surprise you in there.”

  “We must have missed each other.” Is my voice tight? Are my muscles bunched? I feel all sorts of cold and uncomfortable. Her being behind the bar is nothing new, although she’s usually not this affectionate. “Tucker told me you were out here.”

  “Oh. I went to the ladies’ room first. How’s your day?”

  Terrible. Confusing. It’s not what she needs to hear, not right now, with Caitlin glancing at us and punching on her phone. “It’s been better.”

  She rolls to her toes and presses her lips to my throat. They prickle against my skin like an irritant. And God. If I needed confirmation before this moment what to do, I’ve certainly got it. “If you’re still coming over tonight, I can help make it better.”

  I grin down at her. She’s short, barely over five foot, and just as tall as Caitlin, but that’s where their similarities end. But personally, I love shorter women. I like being able to lift and carry them easily. Like being able to whip them around where I want them to be. Ashley’s adventurous and good, but the memories flashing in my head are of a particular redhead.

  Good Lord, I’m an asshole. I’m currently fighting getting a hard-on remembering times I’ve had fun throwing Caitlin around, while my girlfriend is in front of me.

  “I’ll be there,” I tell Ashley. I have to get out of this bar before I do something stupid like break up with her here.

  She must sense the coolness in my voice because she frowns and steps back. “Okay. Well, I’m going to go home and shower the day off me. See you for dinner?”

  “After the dinner rush ends here I’ll come. Nine?”

  There’s no way I’ll sit through a dinner with her, now knowing what I have to do. I just need to figure out how to do it without hurting her too much. But even this is different. During the week we almost always have dinner together.

  “Something wrong?”

  “No,” I tell her as she steps away from my arms and heads around the bar. “Just a long day and I have a few things here I need to get a handle on.”

  Like my life.

  “All right then. Text me when you’re on your way.” She grabs her purse from the stool next to where Caitlin is sitting. “Bye, lady. See you soon?”

  Caitlin lifts her martini glass and grins. “Probably with a drink in hand.”

  Ashley laughs, and my God I need to get a grip. I’ve never felt more uncomfortable watching the women banter. They’ve always gotten along. Caitlin’s always been kind to her, and it was awkward at first, but this…them teasing each other? I’m a bigger dick than I thought I was earlier, because watching the woman I want who sets me on fire with the girl I have who I know will never hurt me is the worst possible scenario for the day I’ve had.

  Later, Ashley mouths to me as she says her goodbyes, throwing in a wink and a saucy little smile that’s usually cute.

  It’s not until she’s gone that I realize, while she’s walking away I’ve kept my gaze glued to Caitlin.

  “You okay?” she asks when she catches me watching her.

  “I’ve got shit to do,” I mumble. “Tucker, you got this?”

  “Righty ho, boss man!” he calls from the end of the bar.

  I leave the bar and head back to the office before I do something incredibly stupid. Like kiss the confusion off Caitlin’s face.

  Chapter 3

  Caitlin

  Teagan: Just because you don’t want marriage (which I’ll never understand) doesn’t mean you have to be alone. Try it. What’s the worst that can happen?

  I scrunch my nose at Teagan’s text. As soon as Jonas weirdly took off back to his office earlier, I finished my drink and ordered another. Tucker must have sensed my strange mood because he gave me a wide berth instead of our normal friendly banter. Which meant I had no one to talk to, and I wasn’t really in the mood anyway, so I started texting Teagan, bitching about the app and Trey’s idea.

  Her last response is pretty much the same as her first five. Variations of Do it. Try it. You’re nuts…go for it. And this one. It’s not like I expected Teagan to say, “Oh whoa, hold up, crazy. You don’t need a man.” It’s just…is it obvious to my friends I don’t like being alone all the time? Am I walking around with some neon light flashing LONELY above my forehead with an arrow pointing down? I don’t understand where all this encouragement is coming from between Teagan and Trey, but I know I don’t like it. Not one little bit.

  I tap my finger to the screen, considering a response, when a shadow falls over me from the other side of the bar, followed by a familiar woodsy scent. Sometimes if I try hard enough, I still imagine I can get a hint of it on my spare pillowcase.

  “What smells?” Jonas asks, and I lift my head.

  “What?”

  He points at my nose. “Your nose is scrunched up, like it does when I’ve cooked you sauerkraut.”

  Just the memory of that day makes me shiver. “Anyone who eats fermented cabbage has a few screws loose in their brain.”

  He laughs, shakes his head, and pours himself a glass of water. A customer requests another drink, and he lifts his hand to me. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “No hurry.”

  Jonas leans toward the customer at the far end, listening to her drink order, and she points to a table with two other women. She finishes her order, and Jonas grins at her, immediately moving to begin mixing whatever martinis she and her friends requested. It’s impossible to pull my gaze off him as he works. He does it so fluidly, it’s like he was born with a martini shaker and a vodka bottle in his hand.

  Up until a few months ago, Jonas always had this long, dark hair pulled back into a man bun. Now it’s shaved close on the sides, longer on the top and flipping toward the right. Occasionally, I’ve seen him reach to the back of his head like he’s searching for his hair and frown as if he’s remembering he’s chopped it all off. The new look suits him, but I still miss the longer hair. Although considering it’s no longer my place, because the reason I liked it so much was that it drove him crazy when I pulled on it while his was face was buried between my thighs.

  He’s dressed the same as he always is when he’s at work. Black short-sleeve polo shirt with a martini glass emblem over the left side of his chest. A chest and stomach that fill out the shirt perfectly. The sleeves bulge around his muscled biceps, and the shirt is tucked into a pair of faded jeans, black belt with a thick silver buckle centered perfectly. At almost six feet, he’s not always the tallest guy in the room, but he’s still nearly a foot taller than me. Yeah, I’m short. I wear heels to make up the difference, but secretly when I was with Jonas, I always loved how much larger he is than me.

  And just like every other time I’ve seen him, my hands curl into fists, and that familiar warmth pulses at the center of my thighs. My body remembers him well, and it only takes a glance at him to send a rush of heat racing down my spine.

  Trey and Teagan are at least right in one area. I do need a new man. Six months is quite the dry spell, and yet every time I’ve had the option to go home with someone else, a memory of Jonas pops unbidden into my brain and all my interest in the stranger evaporates.

  Jonas has ruined me for sex with other men, and that’s quite the bummer.

  So why do I continue torturing myself by coming back to Dirty Martini’s for drinks and the occasional lunch or dinner? Because the food and the drinks are the best.

  Also because mostly, I miss my friend. It’s not the same as it used to be, but Jonas has always understood me in a way few do. And with Corbin now married and him and Teagan living on the coast, outside of the people at Dirty’s, Trey’s really my only friend. And even he is such a space cadet for much of the time, I only see him once a week or so to watch football and baseball games together.

  My phone pings with another text, and my screen lights up. It’s from Trey, and I roll my eyes, smiling while I read his text. You’re killing me. Helping or not?

 
; “You’re making that look again,” Jonas says. I’d been so lost in thought at Trey’s idea, I didn’t see Jonas walk up to me.

  “I am not. And besides, earlier you looked like your mood matches mine. What’s got you upset today?”

  His nose crinkles, just one side, but it’s enough to know he’s irritated about something. “I’m good. Just need to get a few things figured out, I guess. Now, what’s your problem?”

  “Same, really.”

  I read Trey’s text again. Can I do this? Should I? He sent me the link to the dating app in a second text, so I pull it up.

  What’s the harm in looking?

  Suddenly the phone is gone and out of my hands before the app has finished loading.

  “Hey!” I cry and lean across the bar. “Give me my phone.”

  Jonas’s dark eyes go large, and he blinks slowly, lifting those beautiful eyes to meet mine. “You’re doing a dating app?”

  Lines wrinkle on his forehead. I must be imagining the flash of pain on his face.

  “It’s stupid,” I tell him and reach for my phone. He holds it far enough away I have to hurdle the bar to get it, or fall into him. And that wouldn’t be a great thing. Jonas touching me leads to trouble.

  Not anymore. He has Ashley.

  The reminder sends my butt plopping right back to the stool. Jonas is still staring at me, gaze going from my phone to me before he drops his hand.

  “I see.”

  I owe him no explanation. Still, I give it to him. “It’s a new app Trey finished. He just wants me to try it out. That’s all.”

  “By dating guys? You?”

  He chokes out that last word, the “You” thrown at me almost like it’s poison. Like I’m poison. And that hurts, because even if things were awkward after we stopped having sex, we’ve still always been friends in some weird way.

  I push through the strange sensation in my gut his words cause. “It’s just a month. And it’s not like I’ll meet anyone—”

  “But you’re considering it?”

  Indignation rises in me. He walked away from me and found what he’s looking for. Why does it seem so wrong for me to do the same thing? He’s moved closer, and the phone is still loose in his hand like he’s forgotten he holds it. I lunge forward and snag it back.

  He doesn’t react at all, but his unnerving stare is still glued to me.

  “I might be.” I don’t want to be alone forever, do I? Just because I don’t want marriage or kids doesn’t mean I have to have nothing. “I don’t know, I guess. And you don’t get a say, you have a girlfriend. Remember?”

  I’m such a bitch. There’s no reason to be throwing that in his face. If I decide to use a dating app, it has nothing to do with Jonas. Or Ashley.

  He flinches like I’ve slapped him and then nods slowly. “Right. Ashley. She’s a good girl.”

  “Exactly. And I should probably take this conversation as my cue to leave.”

  I gather my things, slapping down enough money to cover my bill and then some. I’m pushing off the stool, standing, my gaze focused on the drizzle outside and my raincoat when a warm hand wraps around my wrist. And good grief. The things the heat from his hand does to my body. I yank it out of his light grip before he sees or feels the goosebumps flaring up my arm.

  “Don’t leave mad. It just took me by surprise.”

  My gaze flickers to Jonas, his face twisted with displeasure, and back to the front door. Escape. Coming here today was not a good decision on my part. The possibility of this conversation happening was ridiculously high. I just didn’t think he’d care.

  “I’m not mad.” And before I stop myself, I mutter the same words Teagan said to me. “But I can’t be alone forever, either, and maybe it’s time to give something else a chance.”

  I doubt it will work. I’m too picky. Too stubborn. Too damaged and mistrusting, but for the last six months I’ve felt more alone than I have in my entire life, and that’s saying a lot, because I spent a lot of my youth as an only child alone when I wasn’t shipped off to boarding schools.

  But man, I wish he’d leave and walk away. One more drink before I head home sounds like a fantastic idea, but I can’t now, not with Jonas standing next to me, looking thoughtful.

  “I wish you the best, then.” He drops my wrist from his grasp and spins, heading straight toward his office.

  Of course he will want that for me. As irritated as I am with him, I might be more irritated at myself.

  I had the chance to have this amazing, incredible guy who gets me in ways I don’t understand myself. He makes me laugh, and his presence isn’t only comforting, it’s arousing. And I pushed him away, and now he’s not mine to even consider asking to have back.

  I’m barely out on the sidewalk, phone in hand, when I pull up the text string from Trey.

  Fine. I’m in. Thirty days max.

  Chapter 4

  Jonas

  “I am really sorry, Ashley.”

  Her red-rimmed eyes peer at me through her eyeglasses. “I know. Me, too.”

  My hand is on the doorframe, ready to walk out. I hate the hurt on her face. Hate I’m doing this to her. Hate even more I’m not the guy for her. After Ashley and Caitlin left earlier, I tried to focus on work. When that spectacularly failed, I gathered up my balls and came to Ashley’s earlier than she expected me.

  No use in putting off what my heart has been leading me to do for weeks now.

  I definitely didn’t expect her to make this so easy for me, but that’s Ashley. Kind down to the tips of her toes and the bottom of her soul.

  “All right then. I should go.”

  She sniffs and looks over my shoulder. Her arms are wrapped around her stomach, and still I can’t leave. Six months with her and I care about her. A lot. Just not enough.

  “I—”

  “Please.” She shakes her head. “No more apologies. Just go, Jonas.”

  “Okay.” I lean in and brush my lips over her forehead. She flinches away, and that kills, too. Perhaps I shouldn’t have given her one last kiss, but the desire to take away her pain is still inside of me. Even knowing what I’m about to do next. “Take care, Ashley.”

  She steps away from me, hand on the doorknob to her apartment. It feels like I’ve been in this doorway for hours, dragging out our goodbyes. And maybe this is making it harder for her.

  “Bye, Jonas.”

  Her cues are obvious. Without another word, I turn and leave her apartment, startling at the quiet click of the door behind me. Behind it, I hear a sob break free before I’m steps away, and God, that stings, too. She cried when I talked to her, teary-eyed through her questions of asking me why, especially when I’d gotten her hopes up about the upcoming weekend. And lamely, all I could give her was that my heart just wasn’t in it as much as hers. Sure, I prettied it up some to make it sound nicer, but I don’t have a more concrete answer.

  I reach the end of the hallway and stab the elevator button. I should wait for what I’m about to do next. Go home or back to the bar, have a few drinks, get shit settled in my head.

  Yet, as the elevator doors open and I step inside, my mind is already made up.

  I’ve been in love with Caitlin for almost two years, and right now, there’s a slim chance I can get her to see we’d be good together. I’ve hidden my desire for her. I’ve wrapped it up in a box and shoved it far away since, all because I was trying…trying to get past her, and trying to like Ashley as much as I should, but the truth remains…no one has ever captured my attention the way Caitlin has.

  Which means by the time the elevator reaches the ground floor, I’m already pulling up a contact number on my phone, a number I haven’t called often, and I definitely haven’t done it in the last six months.

  The last time I called him, Caitlin was drunk off too many martinis and I’d walked her back to her apartment only to realize we’d left her keys at the bar and we were locked out.

  I’d called Trey and he’d come downstairs, laughing a
t the giggly-ridiculous drunken Caitlin, and he let us in using his spare key. The benefit of having one of her best friends and boss live ten floors above her.

  Given how hard the man works and how much I know of his erratic schedule from Caitlin, I’m completely surprised when he answers his phone.

  “Hey Trey. Jonas.”

  “Yeah, man. What’s up? Caitlin all right?”

  Shoving open the door, a blast of cool air slams into my face, making my cheeks sting as I step out. “Yeah. Actually, she’s part of what I want to talk to you about. Any chance you got time for a drink on me? I’m heading to Dirty’s now.”

  There’s a beat of silence before he answers. Too bad I don’t know Trey well enough to know what he’s thinking. “Yeah, sure. I can be there in twenty, thirty minutes.”

  “Good. See you then.” I disconnect and squeeze my phone, still staring at the blinking screen.

  This has the potential to get screwed seven ways to Sunday.

  Or get me the girl I’ve wanted for years.

  Either way, it’s a risk I have to take.

  * * *

  —

  I’m back behind the bar, well before Trey arrives. We’re not slammed, and my main bartender Tucker can handle the crowd. I don’t regret hanging back, drinking a beer, and trying to calm the nerves pounding against my skull while I wait for Trey.

  He’s protective of her. He and Corbin always have been. Hell, once Trey heard we were hooking up, he came to the bar with her a few times and stood like the damn boxing-ring pro he looks like in the corner, glaring me down as if I were going to assault her in a public, packed bar. After that, I wondered more than once or ten times if there was something between Caitlin and Trey I was missing. Yet the one time I asked her about it, she laughed so hard she ended up with tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “That buffoon? No way.” Her red hair whipped across her cheeks and stuck to her tears.

  I reached out and tugged them down. “I had to ask. You two are so close.”

  “Yeah, because he’s like my brother. Anything else is gross.” Her face scrunches, and if I’m not mistaken, she turns green at the thought.