Remembering Us Read online

  I shrug. “I don’t know where I am.”

  He takes another step forward, a friendly but cautious smile on his face. “Do you know who I am?”

  I roll my eyes and sit back down, suddenly not in a hurry to go anywhere. “Yeah, Tyler. I know you.” He lets out a slow breath and sits down next to me on the bench. It feels familiar, and even though Tyler cheated on me and I never talked to him after that, I’m not mad. Probably because I don’t think I ever truly cared for him. His kisses certainly never left my head spinning.

  “What are you doing here?”

  He nods to a coffee shop on the corner. It doesn’t look like anything special.

  “I was walking to get a coffee. Want to join me?”

  I frown and look around the neighborhood we’re in. It’s nice and safe. Middle-class, maybe. A little bit on the new side, I can’t really tell. It’s certainly nothing like the area we grew up. “Do you live around here?”

  He nods to a building that sits on top of a dry cleaner business. “Yeah, I live right there. I moved in right after graduation.”

  I look at the guy I dated for a year, the last guy I remember dating, and shake my head. Why does being with him feel okay, like nothing’s changed, but every time I’m around Kelsey and Adam and my parents I feel like I’m one more strange comment away from snapping and going insane?

  I take a seat in a leather chair in front of the fireplace while Tyler gets our coffees. I’m still rubbing my shoulders and my arms when he comes back. I give him an uncomfortable glance and watch him resting in the chair.

  “So how’d you get lost tonight?” He peers at me over the edge of his paper cup, his lips puckered as he lightly blows to cool down his drink.

  I do the same and then exhale. “I don’t remember anything.”

  His eyebrows pull together. “You mean from tonight?”

  “No. Since … well, you. I guess.” I shrug like it’s no big deal that I’ve lost two years of my life.

  “Yeah, I heard about your accident. I’m glad you’re okay, considering.”

  Yeah, I’m okay. I’m a bundled wreck that could snap at any second. I have dreams that terrify me, and I get lost taking a walk to cool down.

  I stare off into the fire watching the yellow and red flames dancing in their cage. I can relate to the enclosed madness.

  “So what happened to make you lost?”

  I sigh and look at Tyler. I really take a good look at him. He’s so handsome. I understand why my parents thought he was the perfect mate for me. Yes, my mother used that word. I swear she wanted a Labrador instead of a daughter. Lucky for her she got a nutcase.

  “My boyfriend, Adam, and I got into a fight and I couldn’t stay.”

  “Did he hurt you?” He leans forward and looks at me seriously. It almost makes me want to laugh. Oh, the irony.

  “No, he didn’t hurt me.” I flash him an innocent smile. “You don’t like him?”

  With what I guess is a subconscious gesture, Tyler rubs the bridge of his now slightly crooked nose. “He broke my nose.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “You cheated on me.”

  “God, I was hoping you forgot that,” he mutters, shaking his head and looking at the floor.

  I gasp, mostly from shock, but then I see his horrified expression and I laugh. Loudly. If there were other customers in here right now, I’m sure we’d have the attention of everyone in the bar.

  “I’m so sorry,” he starts to stutter out, his cheeks bright pink from embarrassment.

  “Don’t worry about it. I mean, other than being horribly inappropriate considering, it was the funniest and most honest thing I’ve heard.”

  I’m laughing so hard I have tears running down my cheeks, but I don’t care. Tyler looks like he doesn’t know what to do with me. Mental breakdown? Possibly. I have no idea either.

  I’m trying to take a deep breath and regain some sense of control when I see a flash of purple and then I’m wrapped in someone’s arm, or a chokehold, before I can blink.

  My body freezes and I gasp, staring at Tyler over a mess of purple and hot pink with wide eyes. He shrugs, but his eyes are just as big as mine.

  “Uh.”

  “Oh my gosh! Amy! You’re back! I’m so excited to see you, but yeah … your accident. So I take it you’re okay? Ready to come back? We’ve missed the ever lovin’ shit out of you.”

  I recognize someone talking to me … quickly. So quickly I’m not sure she’s stopping to breathe, but I can’t say anything.

  “Uh …” I try again, but the crook of her elbow is pressed against my throat, making speaking difficult.

  She pulls back and I want to laugh. This – person – is pierced. Like everywhere. I count at least four on her face and all I can see on her ears are flashes of silver and purple gauges in her lobes. The purple and pink I was smothered by is her hair. Hair. I’ve never seen anything, or anyone, quite like her.

  And I know her?

  Her face puckers up; her lips squishing together makes the piercing on her upper lip do a strange wiggle thing.

  “Do I know you?” I finally choke out. Her hands are still on my shoulders, an odd look on her face, and then she looks at Tyler before looking slowly back at me.

  “You don’t remember?”

  I shake my head. Remember what? Her? Uh, no. She’s pretty unforgettable

  She bites her finger nail which has a skull and cross bones painted on it. She’s … odd. And then she looks at my dress and makes what appears to be an expression on her face that probably mirrors mine.

  “No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

  “Oh, shit. Adam said you’d come back to work when you remembered everything. I just assumed since you’re here.”

  “I work … here?” My eyes glance all over the coffee shop as she nods. It’s far from a Starbucks. It’s local, that’s for sure. Artwork of the mountains is interspersed on the walls with posters for bands and open mic night at … Hooka Joe’s?

  I work at a place called Hooka Joe’s. I snort.

  “Yes, and you love it. We’re like best friends. Well except for Adam and Kelsey of course, but okay, we’re like best co-worker friends. Seriously.”

  My eyes get wider and wider with every high-pitched word she says. Best co-worker friends? Those exist?

  I look back at Tyler and he’s choking on his drink. Or laughing. Whichever.

  “Oh.” Because really, what else do I say to her? “What’s your name? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, I just don’t …”

  “Remember.” She cuts me off with a frown. It turns to a smile so quickly I wonder if it existed in the first place. “Adam told me everything. I’m Preston. We were all worried about you, but you’re here!”

  And with that final squeal, I’m wrapped in a death grip again, my hands frozen at my sides as she sort of lays half over the leather chair and almost in my lap. Squeezing me. Hard.

  I cough and try to push her off and hear Tyler making some strange chortling sound in the background. I flip him off with my free hand.

  “So anyway,” she says as she pulls back again. “You don’t remember, yet. And gosh, that really forking sucks. But if you want your job back, we could use the help. Just let me know.”

  “Are you the manager?”

  She stands to her full height, probably somewhere around five feet tall, and places her hands on her hips. “I’m the owner. You’re the manager, at least during the daytime. I have Benjamin who manages everything at night, but he’s sick today.”

  My eyes go wider. I didn’t even know they could grow this big. She’s wearing a black skin-tight shirt with “Hooka Girl” in bright pink across the chest. It looks familiar, and then I remember where I’ve seen it. It’s in my closet. I haven’t worn it yet because I thought Hooka was a band name, or short for Hooker. And that just seems like a weird thing to advertise across my breasts.

  “So you’ll call me, right?” Preston says as she walks away with a wide smile. “Get bac
k on the schedule? No pressure, just whenever you’re ready let me know.”

  “Yeah …”

  Tyler bows his head, his entire body is shaking so hard I think he might be convulsing. I kick his shin.

  “Shut up.”

  “Who in the hell was that?” he chokes out through his laughter.

  I take the last sip of my drink, sorry that it’s empty. She was kind of fun, even if a bit overwhelming. “Preston. My boss, I guess.”

  And then we both dissolve into another fit of laughter.

  “Do you need a ride home?” Tyler asks me once he finishes his coffee and I sip on a fresh ice water. We’ve been talking for who knows how long, getting caught up. Apparently he bought a place in the neighborhood so he could finally live on his own before he goes to law school in the fall. I would have thought he’d be in some place nicer, but he said that his dad has insisted he learn to live like ‘one of the small people,’ so he gets a feel for what it’s like to be an ‘average Joe’ before he starts defending criminals. Yes. His dad said that to him. Our parents are peculiar people to say the least.

  “Yeah, probably, since I don’t know how to get there.” I toss my water in the trash and grab my purse.

  “Not a problem. What’s your address?” he asks, pulling up a GPS app on his phone.

  Well, shit. I have no idea.

  “Umm. Hold on a second.” I rush back inside and find Preston wiping down the glass dessert container. “Hey Preston, do you know my address?”

  Heat suffuses my cheek and neck. This is so embarrassing. If she notices my mortification at having to ask the stupid question, she doesn’t say anything.

  She scribbles it down on a business card and hands it to me. “Want me to call Adam and have him come get you?” she asks as she glances at the door. Tyler is standing out there, proud as always with his hands in his front pocket, his back straight, and every article of clothing completely wrinkle-free. “Who’s the stiff?”

  I shake my head. “Just an old friend.”

  “No probs. Just call me with the number on the card whenever you want to come back.” I thank her, and right as my hand is on the door, she calls my name. She has a wide grin on her face, not caring, or maybe not noticing, how strange this entire night has been for me. “I’m really glad you’re back.”

  “You know that kiss with Britnee meant nothing, right?”

  I don’t know anything right now. There’s no way Adam can expect me to think straight when his lips are pressing against my neck, his hips are pressing me into the wall, and his hands are moving torturously slow up and down my arms. The bumps that are igniting all over my skin feel so hot that I think I might explode. I don’t even remember how I got here. All I remember is Adam pulling Brendan off me in the parking lot and carrying me to Zander’s car before throwing it into gear and driving full-throttle down the interstate until we pulled into the hotel.

  Not a word has been spoken out loud but plenty has been said with our eyes.

  I drop my head back against the wall and moan when his tongue darts out and licks against my collar bone, the soft spot of my flesh right behind it, and then up to my ear.

  “Adam,” I moan. I think. My hands grasp his hair and I don’t know if I’m trying to pull him closer or push him away. My brain is fuzzy and my legs have turned to mush. There’s too much emotion. Too much of everything in the room right now.

  He pulls back and clasps his hands at the back of my neck, tilting me up so I can’t look away.

  He pierces me with a gaze so serious I think he could melt a block of ice. It’s now that I remember what he asked me, what happened in the hallway at his fraternity’s formal, and what I did shortly after.

  How is it that he can turn me into such an emotional basket case? Will I always be this way around him? Crazy for him? Needing him so desperately that the thought of another woman’s hands or lips on him can cause me to do the unthinkable? Because oh my shit – I kissed Brendan and told him to take me home. If going home with that dickwad doesn’t classify me as mentally insane, I’m not sure what would.

  “You know I didn’t kiss Britnee, right? You know that was her.”

  I close my eyes and see him in the hallway pressed up against her, his mouth on hers. “You kissed her back.”

  “It just took me a second to realize what she was doing. That’s all though. You know that, right? You have to know that.”

  Britnee’s wicked smile flashes through my mind, and for the first time tonight, I’m able to breathe. “I know.”

  “Now tell me why you ran from the table in the first place. Tell me what freaked you out at the thought of making love to me tonight.”

  I hate it when Adam does this to me. He knows my secrets and my fears before even I know them sometimes. I don’t understand how he can read me so well or put up with my constant indecision.

  I shake my head, unable to tell him. To tell him that the thought of losing him makes me feel like I wouldn’t survive. That I love him so much it hurts, physically. But at the same time, the thought of losing everything my family has ever given me is just as terrifying as losing him. They’re both important to me and I never know which choice is the better one – not when he can’t promise me forever.

  He hasn’t even defined what we have as a relationship even though we’ve been having one for the last four months, and it’s been the most amazing four months of my life.

  His scruff scrapes my cheek and I shiver. I feel that movement all the way down to the tips of my toes as he brushes against me softly, and presses his hips – and his hardness – into me further. “Tell me, Amy. I need to hear it.”

  I let out a low groan. Of frustration or need, I don’t know. “You’ll leave.”

  It’s all I can gasp out before his lips are on mine again, pushing his tongue into my mouth and wrestling it softly with mine. We move together like we’ve known each other our entire lives and I can never understand how a touch or a kiss from this man can leave me feeling completely empty when he pulls away.

  Which is exactly what he does, and I fall back against the wall. Every part of his body separates from mine and I’m left with nothing except the dark look in his eyes. His hands move to the wall next to my head. He’s breathing heavily as he stares at me.

  “You need to know two things right now, Amy Thompson.” I blush at his use of my full name, but I can’t take my eyes off him. His gaze is so heavy that I can still feel him pressing against me. “You are the only good thing that has ever happened to me in my life and I am not going anywhere. Ever.”

  I let that thought hit me, settle it into my bones, and try hard not to think about what it means. He can’t be saying what I want him to. What I need him to.

  He arches an eyebrow as if he’s watched me process everything and is asking me if I’m done.

  “And the other?” I ask, although I’m not sure I want to know. I’m still caught on the ‘ever’ word of his last thought.

  “I never knew it would be possible for a fuck-up like me to fall in love, but I did. And now that I feel it, I really … really want to show you how much I love you.”

  With a wicked grin, he doesn’t give me time to think about what he just said. Because holy crap, I don’t know if I’d believe him if I had to think about it without his hands moving on me. Because they are. His hands are back on my body with a ferociousness that I have never experienced before in my life. I can barely catch my breath while we claw at each other’s clothes like animals.

  This is what I needed to hear. It’s what I needed to know, and now that I’ve heard it, I’m taking everything I can from this man. I’m giving him everything I have because he’s the only one I’ve ever met worth giving it to. Not sex – but my entire heart, body, and soul. I no longer want to exist in my carefully planned life. I want to be the one driving my decisions and my life. And I want to do both with him.

  Our clothes are shredded before I can take a breath. I don’t even know how it happened.
Did Adam take them all off? Did I help? My head is filled with a powerful lust and love combination, and only the feel of Adam pressing both of my hands against the wall above my head brings me fully back to the present.

  “Adam,” I moan as I arch my hips into his. I can feel his erection run across my thighs and all I want is him in me. I need him. I need to feel every part of him, just like he needs to know that I have no doubts about him. Not after what he just said.

  His forehead presses against mine. I can feel a slight layer of sweat against his skin, and I look at him, wanting to see him. His eyes are tightly closed as if he’s trying to stay in control.

  Who cares about control? I lost mine the minute Adam’s lips touched mine the first time months ago.

  “I need you to be sure, Amy.” His forehead rubs against mine. I’m thrown between the forcefulness of his grip on my hands and the softness in his voice and his words.

  I close my eyes and do what Adam tells me to always do when I start getting stressed about the future. Just feel it. Feel us.

  And it works just like always. We may not make any sort of sense on paper, but when I let the bullshit and the worries go, we always feel right. Like now.

  I nod my head against his and smile. “I’m sure.”

  “Thank fuck,” he growls with a hoarse voice, and then his lips are back on mine. His hand is on my waist, moving lower and then lifting my thigh so it’s raised and wrapped around his hip. “Legs around me, now.”

  I listen to him, moving before he’s even finished speaking. I almost feel like an animal rutting in the wild, but I can’t help it. And I wouldn’t stop it even if I could.

  The tip of his erection presses against me and his hand on my hip lowers me onto him. And then he pulls me closer, filling me more completely and powerfully than I would have thought possible.

  “I love you,” I moan as soon as he begins to rock against me. He presses me into the wall and down onto him at the same time. I repeat the words, kissing him all over, groaning the words into his neck and against any part of his skin that I can reach with my lips and my tongue. I relish the feel of his hands gripping my waist and my hands as his lips press against my neck, returning the three words with the same equal amount of passion and pressure that I give to him.